You can’t imagine it, Jessie J states. At that moment preparing for her new album launch in nearly a decade, ecstatically in love with her recent boyfriend, and finally the mother of a toddler after facing fertility challenges for a decade, riding high. Then in spring she was diagnosed with a breast cancer diagnosis.
The singer-songwriter, birth name Jessica Cornish, is renowned for telling it as it is. The album, her latest release, was meant as an transparent story, addressing every ounce of devastation she’d endured since she last worked on songs (endometriosis, losing a baby, failed relationships, emotional abuse, suicidal thoughts) with characteristic openness. The first single, No Secrets, was launched in the spring. But by then there existed a huge secret. The illness. Later follow-up track, Living My Best Life, was released in May and she was giving interviews about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while all the while coping with the disease. Four weeks after she went public, and in the start of summer she received surgical treatment.
She shoots me her best “Are you kidding?” expression. “I put out with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every interview, and they’re, like, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I’m, like, ‘Well, not much…’” the singer has just had to postpone shows because she’s awaiting follow-up surgery.
We meet at a photo studio in the capital. She is wearing a tan faux-leather coat, jeans with ornate white designs, beige footwear and oversized specs. Imagine biker chic meets 1970s Nana Mouskouri. “It seems like I’m in the seventies and I should have a boyfriend with a big tache.” Like the film, I say, recalling the film. “They used to call me that!” She smiles. She is quick, bold and blunt. She says she has always wanted to try comedy and is hoping to make her standup debut next year. “I love making people laugh. During performances I often tease the crowd.”
Medical Challenges and Discovery
She was preparing for an performance at the ceremony when she noticed an abnormality. “I quickly sought to get it examined, had an scan, and they told me, ‘It seems benign; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I responded, ‘But I can feel it. I’ve got an achy arm and tingling in my hands whenever I rise.’ And they suggested, ‘We should biopsy it?’ The date was March 28, the post-birthday.” It was a Friday. The physician told her if it was concerning she’d contact on the Monday. By then she had persuaded herself it was nothing. The way she explains it, it was inopportune to face illness when she had a busy schedule.
“It was a fortnight prior from debuting the project after eight years without an album and an extended break. And she contacted me and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I was, like, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I log in thinking it’s all going to be positive, and she informs me, ‘Please take a seat.’ That sympathetic voice? And she continues, ‘I regret to inform you but your reports have shown high-grade cancer cells.’” How did you respond? “I replied, ‘That’s unfortunate. That’s not fucking great timing.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Some men find me challenging due to my self-awareness
She considered the operation terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. They walk you down. During crises you are wheeled, but this time I just marched with a hospital gown and my backside out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, she notes, she’s been lucky. Without chemo or radio, just the op. “Cancer is awful, but however Thank fuck I found it early. I underwent removal four months ago and my right breast now appears as a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” She smiles again. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”
The follow-up procedure is both medical and cosmetic. Her boobs, she remarks, are now “asymmetrical. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. So inconsiderate! I felt, no need to bully me, I’m already having a rough time. So rude! Amusingly I said I’d not undergo augmentation because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be ideal. Cancer ruined that plan.”
Previous Struggles
The singer is familiar with health problems. She feels her perspective on the cancer has been so optimistic because she’s used to physical challenges. Frequently they align with peak moments, acting as a reminder, or punch in the stomach, to make her recall not to be complacent. “Frankly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘You having a good time? Take a seat.’ Ever since I was a child, it has always gone alongside high points for me; something severe or obscure has impacted my body.”
She reminisces to her youth, already starting her career featuring in the stage in Whistle Down the Wind (she was chosen at the age of nine). That’s when she was found to have the heart condition WPW, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as dizziness and irregular beats. “I rehearsed between visits on an IV drip, and going back into hospital at night.” She fast-forwards several years, and young Jessica has become part of the female band Soul Deep while attending the Brit School. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a stroke. Then when I was ready to debut in recently I had a automobile accident and my larynx moved up and I couldn’t sing for a year.”
Wow, I say, slow down, I need a moment. At just 17? She nods|agrees
